The most frustrating thing about the first time you get paid, is that all of the money is usually spoken for. So all of what I made the past 2 weeks went to rent and gas. Most of the next "pay check" will be gone too, but then I should be suspending my phone and switching under my mom's plan again for 6 months. That way I can save some money. I'm really trying to get this car paid off ($1,000) and it's the only way I'll be able to do that. It would free up $125 a month, which would mean paying it off in 8 months. Of course, I want to do that much sooner - but for now it's progress.

Amber is coming to visit the second week of May for a bit, and looking for a job again - supposedly. She didn't do a whole lot of looking last time though. She had her laptop with her, yet didn't apply anywhere even though a few of the days she was here alone while I worked. Then my mom is visiting with Xander, who I miss so much, the beginning of June. I absolutely cannot wait. I know I'm going to cry when he leaves and wish he was here, but I'm hoping to have enough money to bring him out here by the end of the summer.

Shane and I have talked about getting an apartment together. Him getting a job that even pulls $400 a month would enable me to get a 2 bedroom apartment. As soon as I had the money for a ticket saved, I would have my mom fly out with him and send her the money to ship whatever couldn't fit in luggage of his - but there's not a whole lot besides toys. I might just get one of those POD things to ship all of his stuff here, bed included - because for now I could share my bed with him and get him a few toys. But I'm dreaming, thinking further ahead than necessary right now.

As far as school, I only need to take a placement test for math and do some residency forms and whatnot - then I can be admitted to the school. I start in the fall. That would be why I would need someone like Shane living with me. Someone I trust to take care of my baby while I'm in class. It's going to be a challenge, because I'll probably have class 9-12 then work 2-2 - but it'll be worth it one day. What I might even do, is let Amber move in with us at that point and just have HER watch the kids 2 days a week when I have class, and split the income with her (we would each get half). I don't know... I'm sure I can pull off being exhausted 2 days a week with some serious energy drinks or something.

I'm just glad to have some direction finally.

My boss gave me some really nice things for Easter :) It's all I'll be getting so I really appreciate it. Plus, she gave me a few small perfumes and I found one that is my new favorite! I got offered another job, but the hours would be really awful. I'm not sure if I'm going to take it or keep looking...

The semester is almost over thankfully. All I have left is my last test for FAS, final paper for ENG, and a few more weeks of DCE & CDE. By the middle of May I will be COMPLETELY DONE! Can't wait :)

Easter is tomorrow, and I'm actually looking forward to Church tomorrow morning. My mom's birthday is only 4 days later, so I sent my mom a card and a necklace today. Hopefully she gets it in time.

I really need to keep up with this better. So, I've been babysitting 2:30pm-2:30am during the week. I don't make much, $330 every 2 weeks and I spent about $75 every 2 weeks in gas if I had to guess. But it's enough to pay my bills for now. I really need to sit down and write out a budget.

$120 (phone)
$200 (rent)
$50 (insurance)
$150 (gas)
-----
$520 a month, without food - and I make $600 a month. Yeah, cutting it pretty close. I hope I can pull off a second job soon. If I could even get $100 a week more with another job, that's $400 a month that I could REALLY use. I get $50 a month right now from my dad, but that goes to the 4 $10 payments I sent out to start working on my debt. BLAH.

I need to start bringing in some more money SOON.

I had oral surgery Friday morning.  I had one impacted wisdom tooth, but they all had to come out.  It was supposed to get better today but it's worse.  I have an appointment to go back to the oral surgeon to have it looked at tomorrow morning.  I'm also out of pain medication, so hopefully there is something they can do for me.  I'll just have to get through work and try to sleep tonight, and tomorrow I'll know more.

I did go look at an apartment today.  Would be nice to look into if I am able to get a second job or if Amber can get a job out here.  $350 a month, nice apartment, beautiful - good area.  Good to keep in mind.

I had a great visit with Amber.  I was sad to see her go.  The funny part is, she was dead-set on moving here the moment she got off the plane.  She just fell in love with this place.  I was hoping she would.  I didn't really keep up with working out or tanning while she was here.  I'm getting back into it though.  Today is technically my first day back since the 24th - with the exception of one morning that I did make it to the gym while she was here.  She's been back in Arizona for almost a week now.  It was a difficult adjustment.

I have been babysitting for a little over a week now.  It's not a lot of money, but it pays the bills for now.  I would love to pick up a graveyard shift job so I can babysit and pull in some extra hours at night.  Would be a huge help...  But for now it works.

As far as John goes (my son's father), there has been nothing but drama.  First, a little background.  He treated me pretty badly the 3 years we were together.  Was very disrespectful to me as a person.  We split for the last time January 2010.  I have never asked for anything (our son is 2 1/2 now), never filed for child support or custody.  I happen to be, quite recently, friends with his wife's ex-husband.  Playing with fire, I know.  Well, we were on the phone the other night and he puts his wife's brother on the phone, who proceeds to tell me I'm being disrespectful to John and his wife by talking to Shane.  I didn't say a word until he gave the phone back to John.  I said that I don't ever want to hear about being disrespectful to John when after everything I never filed for child support or custody or asked for a damn thing from him.  That apparently, in his mind, was motivation for him to threaten me.  He said he would tell my mom I mixed drugs with alcohol (which I didn't) to try to get her to go after custody of my son, that he would sign over his rights to make it easier for her.  I am saving all the texts with him saying he would sign off his rights.  It breaks my heart for Xander.  Out of respect for John, I gave him his last name.  So he will have his "dad's" last name but not have a father?  And if John thinks he will have any contact with Xander once he signs off his rights, even when he is 18, he has another thing coming.  I will make sure Xander knows he willingly disowned his only son.

So... Shane is actually coming out here to visit and look for a job.  He's wanting to move back to the Carolinas, so we'll see what happens.  I'm not putting "all my eggs in one basket".  I'm not attaching myself to anyone, but he's a good friend to have.  I've continued to go on dates, get to know people, and try to figure out what I want.  I'm focusing on myself.

I'm coming into the homestretch of the semester - my final semester at Arizona State University.  I'm hoping to improve my GPA from the 2.2 it's at now, but if not I will be working my butt off in the Fall at Midlands (community college here in Columbia).  I'm hoping I can transfer to USC by Spring, or Fall 2012 at the latest.  It was why I originally wanted to move out here!

In the spirit of getting back into the swing of things, I'm going to have some breakfast/lunch and get ready to head to the gym.  Need to get a little GTL going today.  Should start cleaning too, since Shane will be here Thursday night.  My only days to really clean are today and Tuesday.  I work Wednesday, and Thursday - then straight to the airport.