I woke up at 5am this morning, but since I haven't adjusted yet it felt like 3am!  Johnny called me, which in and of itself made it a good morning.  He's bringing me medicine tomorrow after work, since my "cold" is starting to get really bad.  I couldn't hardly sleep last night, it was so hard to breathe.  I took a hot shower this morning, and it helped a little, but I still feel crummy.  Also, it didn't help that all I ate yesterday was a single-serving pasta meal and two mini-bagels all day.  I'm doing better with eating already.  Had two mini-bagels and some water.  I need to go to the store soon!  I need orange juice, cream cheese, and allergy medicine at the very least.  Aside from adjusting to the time, I have to adjust to the cold!  The high here today is 53, and it was high 60's back in Arizona.  Cold!!  And it's supposed to rain today.  We'll see what happens!!

My mission for today is to get some homework done, apply for jobs, and rest to get better!

Woo hoo!  My room is done, and I got all moved in tonight.  Well, sorta.  I still have a lot of unpacking to do, but it's exciting.  I'm definitely feeling a lot more positive.  Now, on to the bad.  This past year, some "friends" screwed me over as they were under my account with Verizon Wireless.  Well, by canceling the lines - the secondary company I bought the phones through (Wirefly.com, aka Simplexity) took $500 from my account.  Apparently they have a legal right to do that.  Don't you just LOVE the fine print??  So I had a mini-breakdown.  That's two and a half month's rent!!  So I'm really pushing to get a job now.  My mom is selling my couch, old phone, and a few other things from back home in Arizona - she's going to send me the money for a good portion of it to help me out.  If we can get even $200, that's a whole month's rent for me.  Also, the owner of the house is calling a few people to see if there are any jobs for me that way.  I am so grateful that people are so willing to help me.  I feel so positive!

Here's my [finished] room!





[bathroom]





I need to finish unpacking... such a mess!

It was a challenging day!  Xander was crying for me when I left, and it nearly killed me.  I cried on and off all day, between the airport and the flight.  I cried a lot of last night.  I felt a lot better this morning, but my back is still killing me from the awful plane seats!  It's a really nice place - I'm only renting a room, but I'm happy with it.

I started sneezing a few days before I left, so I knew I was getting sick.  I just realized why I'm sneezing worse than normal.  I'm allergic to dogs and cats, but after a week adjust that's why I was okay at home.  After flying for the day, now there's a dog here and I'm sneezing again!  I will be okay by next week, but it's definitely amplifying my cold!

My "temporary room" - my room is still being fixed up, but will be ready by tonight:



My room:






Laundry room:




Living room:



Formal dining room:



Kitchen:



lil Guest bathroom:




Eating area:



"Rec Room" aka Sophie (the dog)'s room:



View to outside:

It's time.  I'm getting ready to head to airport, and I'm honestly not feeling too confident right now.  I'm a complete mess and woke up feeling like "I don't wanna go!".  I hope all of this is worth it.  I'm having a panic attack about being away from my son for even a day, let alone months.  I know he'll be okay, but it hurts my heart.  Maybe I'll download a movie to watch on the flight, that might calm my nerves.  I still have some last minute packing to do, so I'll update you when I'm in Columbia!

Sometimes it takes giving up everything you know to get a new start, and make a better life for yourself.  Of course, in my case, it's about more than just me.  It's about my son, too.  Staying longer in Arizona would be easier, but we need a new start.  I don't want us to be stuck here forever.  The hardest part is having to be away from my son for 4 months.  He's been all I've had for the past 2 years, the only person I've ever loved this way.  I've been selfish and not had to share him with his dad.  It's just been me and him.  Now, until I can get a job and create a stable environment for him in South Carolina - he will be staying with my mom and sister, the only other people he's grown up knowing as his family.  Am I doing the right thing?  I think so.  Am I sure?  Of course not.  But I could not forgive myself for dragging him out here just to have to go back if it doesn't work out.  I bought a webcam for my mom, so I can see him everyday - but the separation anxiety is overwhelming.  I leave tomorrow morning, to fly from Phoenix to Columbia.  I hope I can get a job quickly and get life started for us.  24 hours from now, I'll be boarding my plane at the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport.  Until then, I am soaking up every moment I can with my sweet baby boy, who is just growing so quickly.