It was a good day, but short.  It's always a good day when I see Johnny.  I can't help but smile when I'm with him.  He makes me feel so loved!  I think all this wedding stuff is stressing me out too much.  Johnny can definitely tell it stresses me out.  Yes, it makes me happy, but the planning stresses me to no end.  A friend of mine was getting stressed out and just got married by a judge.  While I don't want that, I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to say screw everyone else!  I am planning on a big change.  We'll get married... but it will just be Johnny and I.  A nice little ceremony, dinner after just the two of us, and have a big reception in a year.  Then we can invite everyone and really celebrate - but I need to keep this about US.  Just to give you an idea, before our wedding payments were: $400, $780, $825, $300.  Now, they would be $405, $210, $300, $50 - then just $150 after the wedding to have our photos printed and get ready to move Xander in with us after the summer.  I don't know why I've been trying so hard to make everyone else happy.  I'm going to see also if we can move the date up from May 29 to April 18.  It's going to go by very quickly either way... but that would take a huge weight off my shoulders.  I'll feel better after I talk to him about this on Saturday (the next time I see him) and he tells me he's okay with that, that it's just about us, all those good things that he always says to calm me down and bring me back to reality.  He keeps me grounded, he really does.